Depressed?! Help!?
Since my freshmen year in college and after completely bombing that year i feel like a complete failure like nothing i do is going to fix that year i screwed up. I transfered to a community college now. I dont get along with my parents and theyre constantly argueing with me talking down to me. Im 20 years old i dont go oout i dont party i just go to school and come home, maybe ill go out to the store or the mall or even out to eat but thats it! My parents dont like letting me go out and i have a curfew of 9 which to me is rediculous being that im 20 years old and i have never given them any reasons for them not to trust me. I have anxiety attacks and a thyroid problem, im taking levoxyl and should be taking paroxetine but i have stopped i also take xanax whenever i have a panick attack. I took the summer off so i can get a job to get my mind of things and just get out of the house, but everyday i cant help but think that my life is dull and boring and i have nothing to look forward to.
Answers: i was in your position my previous semester of school.. i wasn't doing well, i was skipping classes, i had no motivation, and i just felt sad and didn't understand why.. so i withdrew from school for that semester to get my mind right..
i'm also twenty.. nor do i party or go out often.. and i understand the anxiety problems.. i'm obsessive compulsive and have occational anxiety attacks..
i find it odd that you have a curfew.. you are legally an adult.. you should be allowed to stay out.. maybe they just don't want you coming in at random hours of the night?
now if you really feel as if you're depressed and that your anxiety is out of hand.. perhaps try this..
i recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you haven't already and getting their opinion.. they may be able to suggest medication if needed.. and talk therapy is very beneficial.. the best thing about a therapist is that they don't know you.. therefore they don't have any personal opinions towards you.. so you get honest, unbiased help..
one of the best depression/anxiety relievers i can recommend is exercise.. it takes your focus off what's bothering you and hey it's just good in general.. exercise also releases serotonin, dopamine and a few other nuerotransmitters in your brain.. serotonin deals with sleep and mood regulation and dopamine is related to pleasure and happiness.. those chemicals i just mentioned are the ones that your brain lacks when depressed.. exercise helps to balance them.. this has been clinically proven to work faster and longer than medication.. simply taking a twenty minute walk each day could really help..
exercise also releases endorphins.. the body's natural pain killers.. this is related to "runner's high"..
i understand you may not be motivated to do a lot.. so start off slow.. just walk for five minutes or so.. then add a minute or two each day and work your way up..
other than exercise you could try deep breathing, muscle relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, listening to music, writing in a journal, or talking to a friend about it.. i also drink ungodly amounts of tea.. haha..
get a good social support network.. talk to a friend or family member about how you feel.. (maybe try talking to your parents about getting a little more freedom?)
take time out for yourself each day.. to just reflect, relax, and settle your thoughts.. do things that relax you and that you enjoy..
warm milk also helps to produce serotonin.. so maybe drinking a glass before you go to sleep may help.. this will help if you have trouble sleeping also..
try to get at least an hour of sunlight each day.. this also helps to balance your brain chemistry and produces serotonin..
when you lie down to sleep, concentrate on your breathing.. just keep a steady inhale and exhale.. in through your nose and out through your mouth.. this will help to calm your heart rate and hopefully help you sleep.. do this anytime you feel yourself getting anxious also..
eat a healthy diet.. and drink lots of water..
if you tend to put yourself down, don't be hard on yourself.. try to make a list of things you love about youself.. if you feel that you cannot make the list, then have a friend or family member make it for you.. when you start to put yourself down or feel bad, pull the list out and read it.. remind yourself that you're special and deserve to feel as such..
you have things to look forward too.. it's just that right now you're setting up the foundation for those things.. you're working on a degree.. and getting a job.. those are GREAT things..
try talking to your parents.. maybe get them to understand that you need a little time to go out and be young.. live it up a little..
if you ever need to talk or vent don't hesitate to send a message my way.. i'm always willing to help.. and i'm SO sorry this is so long.. but i just had a lot to say lol..
i hope this helps.. and best of luck..
I seriously am not trying to be rude and i reeeaaaallllly dont want you to get the wrong idea from what i'm saying but i think you need to see a professional for this
you dont need answers from people on the internet
you deserve better than that
Fate. Free will. Two very different notions. Some, though, argue that one is just the absence of the other. If you don't exercise your choice, you will end up following the path of least resistance. And if you do? Then you can make life as complicated and as difficult as you choose. The use of free will does not automatically equate to an easy experience of life. You can choose bad as well as good. If, though, you now consciously opt for comfort... you can create plenty of it. good luck
¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ Hi there,
To be honest, I think the best you can do is to talk about it-- as you have here. With friends- with any one who will listen. Just a small WARNING: You may hear stuff that is hard to swallow but often times the different perspectives are the best way to learn (from). Just BE CAREFUL because some people are a bit callous or unaware of how influential they can be to someone who is depressed or sad. I went through some effed up stuff in my Freshman year of college and well I'm going through some now. But that's a different story for a different day. I wish you the best. Just keep talking about your stuff. There are people who WILL ALWAYS care ESPECIALLY when you feel it the worst. There is ALWAYS someone. Feel free to me drop a line, btw. I'm only a few years older than you, and I'll pass along something I wish someone had told me at 20. Life isn't meant to be rushed or hurried. THERE IS TIME for almost everything. Its NOT always LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST. I really feel it's about balance. If you feel comfortable at home for a while then do this and emerse yourself with comfort--- FOR A WHILE and then slowly edge out and try NEW things. Not everything has to be like RIPPING A BANDAID off. Lastly, your 20. Remember that your young and you do get to and deserve to enjoy a bit of disorder too. There's a first time for EVERYTHING. Have fun and learn. I have more but I think I may be reitterating the same msg. Hope this makes sense.
Mary
smeagollum(a)sbcglobal.net
Go sing Karaoke , You'll have a blast and you may be good at it . But whether you are good or not enjoy life and laugh . True story , a mother had a bad feeling but didn't act on it , she let her daughter go out against her best judgment , you guessed it . She never saw her lovely little girl again . Trust you mama and be a good girl , its a long race so settle in for the long haul , if it becomes too much call for help . Let me know if you need help . hey i know what you mean! seriously! i'm like you.. well i dont know if im depressed, but there are symptoms. anyway, i also joke in front of everyone cuz i dont want them to know that sumthins wrong w/ me. i can't tell it to my parents to because its not like me getting depressed. but i have a question.. can you still act normal and be yourself in front of your friends? or are they seeing a different you sumhow? pls answer:)
have you gone to a therapist? i guess it wud help if you do..
do you not have one friend you can talk to? My parents even at my age use to do the same but they would tell me in front of who ever that I was adopted..no biggie but it continued for yrs and got worse. I was so tired of crying in front of them telling them to stop the cruelty and they did this in front of my 7 yr old son. Just because we are born into a family doesn't mean you have to like them. You wouldn't think your parents would be so cruel..Why not? Thet are human.
Get that job and move out..I think its past the time.
You should get some professional help or a pastor?
My parents had strict curfews they would say .."its our house Our rule"..true but didn't mean I had to like it.
Maybe school and you need a break for awhile..keep the job and move out ..you will be happier and when your parents start in on you..you say "gotta go,Love ya bye" Then leave..its a good thing being a free adult!
Make an appointment to see your DR. and talk to your doctor,maybe he can switch your meds,talk to a counselor or friend about whats going on and what you are feeling.It never helps to keep every-thing bundled inside.You are 20 years old!You have your whole life ahead of you,I understand about your parents i had the same problem with my until I moved out.Live life for yourself and your be much happier.
Good Luck:) View the techniques for control of panic attacks, in section 8, in my website, at ezy build, below, which I created to contain all the information that there isn't enough space for, here. Begin, on this first occasion, only, by holding your breath for 5, or 10 seconds: this will give you the confidence to realise that YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BREATHING, but not pass out, or die (your autonomic nervous system resumes breathing, if you become unconscious). Understand panic attacks, and what triggers them, in your life (if it is unresolved anxiety, or stress, see sections 6, or 42, respectively). The paper bag method works for most people: try it.
If you are fairly suggestible, the following are reliable: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/
Your last alternative is psychotherapy, to address its fundamental cause: read section 1, and examine the http://1-8OO-therapist.com/ website, and use the locators, and phone book. I used to suffer from panic attacks, until I questioned what had changed in my life, at, or just before that time, to trigger them. For some people, this is enough. These days, I have instilled the habit of, whenever a situation occurs where panic is likely, I visualise a large, "STOP!" sign, as vividly as possible, followed by repeating to myself: "stay calm" in my mind. You could try the same method. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, for most people, to establish a new habit. I also suggest that you learn, then practise the controlled breathing technique, until competent, then employ it, at the very first sign of a panic attack.
Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from panic attacks, I deeply and completely accept myself." Note: the controlled breathing only helps with the symptoms (as do medications/herbal remedies): you need to address the underlying cause, and this requires some form of therapy, and Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy has proved effective.
Advice from a published psychiatrist on controlled breathing. (1.) Get a clock, or watch with a second timer. (2.) Practise for 5 minutes, 4 times daily, until proficient. (3.) Take a small breath in, and hold it, for 6 seconds. (4.) Think to yourself: "RELAX", just before breathing out. (5.) Try to feel a sense of releasing tension, as you breathe out. (6.) Breathe in for 3 seconds, then out, for 3 seconds. Try to make your breathing very smooth, and light, as you breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth, or nose. (7.) For the next minute, continue to breathe in, and out, every 3 seconds. (8.) Go back to step 3, at the end of the minute, and proceed through to step 7, doing this for 5 minutes. Use this at the very first sign of a panic attack starting, or any time you feel anxious, or tense.
Because many people can't access/afford professional therapy, I include the EFT, and EMDR variant for them to try, free of charge. Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy is generally available in most areas, but EMDR (see section 33) may well be worth trying, and is becoming more widespread. (The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is currently the subject of much study by neuroscientists, to discover how it works. Don't dismiss it, merely because it seems a little strange: give it a tryout!). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, or using it on its own, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath.
Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: a thousand and one: this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel. Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention.
It may also help to minimise, or eliminate sugar, and caffeine products from your life. Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey. Minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit. ========================= ===================== ========================= ======================== See www.verbalabuse.com Depression is addressed in section 2, at ezy build: view page Z.13 first. Stress is addressed in section 42: see the comprehensive post first. Anxiety: section 6; page N first. When you become independent, DON'T return home; stay in a hotel/motel and preferably only see them in public places, like restaurants.
Related Questions...
Answers: i was in your position my previous semester of school.. i wasn't doing well, i was skipping classes, i had no motivation, and i just felt sad and didn't understand why.. so i withdrew from school for that semester to get my mind right..
i'm also twenty.. nor do i party or go out often.. and i understand the anxiety problems.. i'm obsessive compulsive and have occational anxiety attacks..
i find it odd that you have a curfew.. you are legally an adult.. you should be allowed to stay out.. maybe they just don't want you coming in at random hours of the night?
now if you really feel as if you're depressed and that your anxiety is out of hand.. perhaps try this..
i recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you haven't already and getting their opinion.. they may be able to suggest medication if needed.. and talk therapy is very beneficial.. the best thing about a therapist is that they don't know you.. therefore they don't have any personal opinions towards you.. so you get honest, unbiased help..
one of the best depression/anxiety relievers i can recommend is exercise.. it takes your focus off what's bothering you and hey it's just good in general.. exercise also releases serotonin, dopamine and a few other nuerotransmitters in your brain.. serotonin deals with sleep and mood regulation and dopamine is related to pleasure and happiness.. those chemicals i just mentioned are the ones that your brain lacks when depressed.. exercise helps to balance them.. this has been clinically proven to work faster and longer than medication.. simply taking a twenty minute walk each day could really help..
exercise also releases endorphins.. the body's natural pain killers.. this is related to "runner's high"..
i understand you may not be motivated to do a lot.. so start off slow.. just walk for five minutes or so.. then add a minute or two each day and work your way up..
other than exercise you could try deep breathing, muscle relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, listening to music, writing in a journal, or talking to a friend about it.. i also drink ungodly amounts of tea.. haha..
get a good social support network.. talk to a friend or family member about how you feel.. (maybe try talking to your parents about getting a little more freedom?)
take time out for yourself each day.. to just reflect, relax, and settle your thoughts.. do things that relax you and that you enjoy..
warm milk also helps to produce serotonin.. so maybe drinking a glass before you go to sleep may help.. this will help if you have trouble sleeping also..
try to get at least an hour of sunlight each day.. this also helps to balance your brain chemistry and produces serotonin..
when you lie down to sleep, concentrate on your breathing.. just keep a steady inhale and exhale.. in through your nose and out through your mouth.. this will help to calm your heart rate and hopefully help you sleep.. do this anytime you feel yourself getting anxious also..
eat a healthy diet.. and drink lots of water..
if you tend to put yourself down, don't be hard on yourself.. try to make a list of things you love about youself.. if you feel that you cannot make the list, then have a friend or family member make it for you.. when you start to put yourself down or feel bad, pull the list out and read it.. remind yourself that you're special and deserve to feel as such..
you have things to look forward too.. it's just that right now you're setting up the foundation for those things.. you're working on a degree.. and getting a job.. those are GREAT things..
try talking to your parents.. maybe get them to understand that you need a little time to go out and be young.. live it up a little..
if you ever need to talk or vent don't hesitate to send a message my way.. i'm always willing to help.. and i'm SO sorry this is so long.. but i just had a lot to say lol..
i hope this helps.. and best of luck..
How come the sound of people chewing, whether it be food or gum, annoys me?
I seriously am not trying to be rude and i reeeaaaallllly dont want you to get the wrong idea from what i'm saying but i think you need to see a professional for this
you dont need answers from people on the internet
you deserve better than that
Does depression make you obsess over your body surrounded by a negative way?
Fate. Free will. Two very different notions. Some, though, argue that one is just the absence of the other. If you don't exercise your choice, you will end up following the path of least resistance. And if you do? Then you can make life as complicated and as difficult as you choose. The use of free will does not automatically equate to an easy experience of life. You can choose bad as well as good. If, though, you now consciously opt for comfort... you can create plenty of it. good luck
¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ ¬¬¬ Hi there,
To be honest, I think the best you can do is to talk about it-- as you have here. With friends- with any one who will listen. Just a small WARNING: You may hear stuff that is hard to swallow but often times the different perspectives are the best way to learn (from). Just BE CAREFUL because some people are a bit callous or unaware of how influential they can be to someone who is depressed or sad. I went through some effed up stuff in my Freshman year of college and well I'm going through some now. But that's a different story for a different day. I wish you the best. Just keep talking about your stuff. There are people who WILL ALWAYS care ESPECIALLY when you feel it the worst. There is ALWAYS someone. Feel free to me drop a line, btw. I'm only a few years older than you, and I'll pass along something I wish someone had told me at 20. Life isn't meant to be rushed or hurried. THERE IS TIME for almost everything. Its NOT always LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST. I really feel it's about balance. If you feel comfortable at home for a while then do this and emerse yourself with comfort--- FOR A WHILE and then slowly edge out and try NEW things. Not everything has to be like RIPPING A BANDAID off. Lastly, your 20. Remember that your young and you do get to and deserve to enjoy a bit of disorder too. There's a first time for EVERYTHING. Have fun and learn. I have more but I think I may be reitterating the same msg. Hope this makes sense.
Mary
smeagollum(a)sbcglobal.net
Go sing Karaoke , You'll have a blast and you may be good at it . But whether you are good or not enjoy life and laugh . True story , a mother had a bad feeling but didn't act on it , she let her daughter go out against her best judgment , you guessed it . She never saw her lovely little girl again . Trust you mama and be a good girl , its a long race so settle in for the long haul , if it becomes too much call for help . Let me know if you need help . hey i know what you mean! seriously! i'm like you.. well i dont know if im depressed, but there are symptoms. anyway, i also joke in front of everyone cuz i dont want them to know that sumthins wrong w/ me. i can't tell it to my parents to because its not like me getting depressed. but i have a question.. can you still act normal and be yourself in front of your friends? or are they seeing a different you sumhow? pls answer:)
have you gone to a therapist? i guess it wud help if you do..
do you not have one friend you can talk to? My parents even at my age use to do the same but they would tell me in front of who ever that I was adopted..no biggie but it continued for yrs and got worse. I was so tired of crying in front of them telling them to stop the cruelty and they did this in front of my 7 yr old son. Just because we are born into a family doesn't mean you have to like them. You wouldn't think your parents would be so cruel..Why not? Thet are human.
Get that job and move out..I think its past the time.
You should get some professional help or a pastor?
My parents had strict curfews they would say .."its our house Our rule"..true but didn't mean I had to like it.
Maybe school and you need a break for awhile..keep the job and move out ..you will be happier and when your parents start in on you..you say "gotta go,Love ya bye" Then leave..its a good thing being a free adult!
I'm only 19 years old, is it possible to be depressed?
Make an appointment to see your DR. and talk to your doctor,maybe he can switch your meds,talk to a counselor or friend about whats going on and what you are feeling.It never helps to keep every-thing bundled inside.You are 20 years old!You have your whole life ahead of you,I understand about your parents i had the same problem with my until I moved out.Live life for yourself and your be much happier.
Good Luck:) View the techniques for control of panic attacks, in section 8, in my website, at ezy build, below, which I created to contain all the information that there isn't enough space for, here. Begin, on this first occasion, only, by holding your breath for 5, or 10 seconds: this will give you the confidence to realise that YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BREATHING, but not pass out, or die (your autonomic nervous system resumes breathing, if you become unconscious). Understand panic attacks, and what triggers them, in your life (if it is unresolved anxiety, or stress, see sections 6, or 42, respectively). The paper bag method works for most people: try it.
If you are fairly suggestible, the following are reliable: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/
Your last alternative is psychotherapy, to address its fundamental cause: read section 1, and examine the http://1-8OO-therapist.com/ website, and use the locators, and phone book. I used to suffer from panic attacks, until I questioned what had changed in my life, at, or just before that time, to trigger them. For some people, this is enough. These days, I have instilled the habit of, whenever a situation occurs where panic is likely, I visualise a large, "STOP!" sign, as vividly as possible, followed by repeating to myself: "stay calm" in my mind. You could try the same method. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, for most people, to establish a new habit. I also suggest that you learn, then practise the controlled breathing technique, until competent, then employ it, at the very first sign of a panic attack.
Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from panic attacks, I deeply and completely accept myself." Note: the controlled breathing only helps with the symptoms (as do medications/herbal remedies): you need to address the underlying cause, and this requires some form of therapy, and Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy has proved effective.
Advice from a published psychiatrist on controlled breathing. (1.) Get a clock, or watch with a second timer. (2.) Practise for 5 minutes, 4 times daily, until proficient. (3.) Take a small breath in, and hold it, for 6 seconds. (4.) Think to yourself: "RELAX", just before breathing out. (5.) Try to feel a sense of releasing tension, as you breathe out. (6.) Breathe in for 3 seconds, then out, for 3 seconds. Try to make your breathing very smooth, and light, as you breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth, or nose. (7.) For the next minute, continue to breathe in, and out, every 3 seconds. (8.) Go back to step 3, at the end of the minute, and proceed through to step 7, doing this for 5 minutes. Use this at the very first sign of a panic attack starting, or any time you feel anxious, or tense.
Because many people can't access/afford professional therapy, I include the EFT, and EMDR variant for them to try, free of charge. Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy is generally available in most areas, but EMDR (see section 33) may well be worth trying, and is becoming more widespread. (The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is currently the subject of much study by neuroscientists, to discover how it works. Don't dismiss it, merely because it seems a little strange: give it a tryout!). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, or using it on its own, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath.
Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: a thousand and one: this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel. Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention.
It may also help to minimise, or eliminate sugar, and caffeine products from your life. Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey. Minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit. ========================= ===================== ========================= ======================== See www.verbalabuse.com Depression is addressed in section 2, at ezy build: view page Z.13 first. Stress is addressed in section 42: see the comprehensive post first. Anxiety: section 6; page N first. When you become independent, DON'T return home; stay in a hotel/motel and preferably only see them in public places, like restaurants.
Related Questions...